Crap crap craps...

Feeling crappy and BLACK today. I dress according to my mood. My mood reflects my dressing.

b
l
a
c
k


A lot of things run through my mind from yest night till midnight, in my dream, in the middle of the night and this morning. Breakfast time and taking train, while on my way to work till I started talking to colleagues.. (Heard he just broke up... omy that's worst and better for them in some way I guess.)

Wo pei bu shang ni ma? Are you too good for me? You deserve a better girl who will love you more than you love her? I am seeing this story as a third party, I don't believe it is myself. The fortunate me I know. But... always but. Sigh.


I am weak.

I am useless.

I have no confidence in myself.

I am not and too independent.


I am thinking of doufu girl. Think of her whenever I have problems with handling relationship stuffs. She makes me find back my confidence, make me think that I am not so useless after all, not so fat after all, not so lousy and not a too bad lover after all. She will never be tired of encouraging. Telling me to eat, to make decision, to not think so much. Well this part reminds me of him...