Am I starting to have a taste of working life? Well just let me complain over here (gosh who am I talking to now?) Fb blogs etc.. Making it so exciting and interesting, what is it for? Attention isn't it? I once hate long para blogs. Write so much for what. Sigh well guess no one really reads my blog nowadays anyway.. Cause I got enough attention from someone else, that's why I am not trying to seek attention from any other sources or anyone else(apb made me realise this). And I blog and fb lesser cause I am tired and don't find a point to do that. Well I sounded old.

What I want to say to myself is whatever sht. No idea what am I talking about. Yea so my blog isn't interesting anymore and I don't really care. Just want to complain here .. Sigh when can I grow up? Or be a more useful and capable lady?

their problem is my problem. Never turn up for work, didn't perform well, no timesheet, no printer, no breaks no time to shit no whatsoever. Got check ups got family gf bf problem. IS MY PROBLEM. One never turn up for work or can't make it,I will have to search up and down text and keep calling ppl the whole morning(don't even have my own sweet time to put my moisturiser and choose my outfit for the day) to ask if they are available to work. Damn it sometimes still have to talk nicely and persuade them to help( wtf?). But I do have some really nice ones that can help or ask around and understand what I am going through. However that will be like one amongst fifty of them.

The accounts have no money to payroll for them, is my problem as well. I know sometimes it has been dragged some times but DONT RUSH ME. I not only have yours to do. Promoters, assistance, flyerer, traffic clickers, event runners, cordinators, brand ambassadors,packer... Hello. Its really a one-manpower agency.cordinating schedule and requests, ensuring all won't be late and turned up. Recruiting more ppl at the same time. Goodness I am doing one man show. Everything a little here and there, end up I can't do a great job for any deployment. Quantity and no quality I just felt such a failure.

The job is not that not fun, everyone has its own problem, that's life. That's how life have been challenging us to handle them. That's how one can grow and learn and be better.

I know I am irritating to keep complaining to my love ones around me, what's the point of complaining as they can't solve your problem. They can listen and makes you feel better. However they have their own problems too, but who is gonna listen to them? Can I listen?I am one of the problem so how? Never ending problems to solve.. That's just life I guess.
Am still young I still have the wilful side. I know myself that I did change quite a lot after started working and knowing you. Sometimes I just want to find myself back and ask why am I here for. Am I good for nothing? Why do I have no confidence in myself. But I always remember what Sawanee(a thai poly lecturer) said to me, she says she realise I am not that kind of flower vase, and I am hardworking. This motivates me a lot..everytime I feel useless, I will remind myself what she said.

Guess siuping really have to work the hardway in life as she isn't the worksmart girl so can only workhard.